I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
