Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
honey bunches of taint.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
