Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
