They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
