Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
