BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
