It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
