Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
