Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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