i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
