i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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