Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize