The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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