I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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