He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
