I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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