Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
