OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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