Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
