We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
