we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
