let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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