I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
