I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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