I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
