Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
