So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
