UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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