You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
