They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
