I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I met the friendliest cop last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
