Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
