What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
