Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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