I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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