I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
