Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
