Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
