I'll bet she douches with gravy.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
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