I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She announced her abortion via fbk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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