Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
