guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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