There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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