I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
