I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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