Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/ht79
  Replies (9) Good night (1089) Bad night (3609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie. http://tfl.nu/22gj
  Replies (37) Good night (722) Bad night (2611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops http://tfl.nu/wqmx
  Replies (45) Good night (4296) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start http://tfl.nu/p90c
  Replies (7) Good night (611) Bad night (3289) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table http://tfl.nu/l87u
  Replies (20) Good night (3203) Bad night (1432) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh. http://tfl.nu/6iss
  Replies (10) Good night (853) Bad night (3709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex. http://tfl.nu/3ix3
  Replies (19) Good night (2264) Bad night (5980) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen. http://tfl.nu/y9fq
  Replies (30) Good night (5915) Bad night (1540) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing http://tfl.nu/bfcf
  Replies (2) Good night (3405) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p
  Replies (5) Good night (1267) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job? http://tfl.nu/b7v3
  Replies (17) Good night (1021) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college? http://tfl.nu/z4fh
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (271) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home. http://tfl.nu/5j3k
  Replies (4) Good night (625) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  How's dating the med student working out for you?

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  A true anatomy project.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): How's dating the med student working out for you? (715): After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was. (414): A true anatomy project. http://tfl.nu/in9w
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (168)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls http://tfl.nu/fmy4
  Replies (3) Good night (352) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt

Randomize