i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.