He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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