How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
