Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle

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(518): Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle http://tfl.nu/ebj2

Replies (11) Good night (703) Bad night (1895)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome

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(208): I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome http://tfl.nu/zb92

Replies (30) Good night (2793) Bad night (6437)
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(858): View more from California

I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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(858): I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street. http://tfl.nu/fk7f

Replies (35) Good night (8529) Bad night (753)
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(678): View more from Georgia

i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.

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(678): i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste. http://tfl.nu/3anp

Replies (21) Good night (4859) Bad night (1807)
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(937): View more from Ohio

We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.

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(937): We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard. http://tfl.nu/l7xl

Replies (10) Good night (3997) Bad night (1026)
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(786): View more from Florida

i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

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(786): i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/v0t3

Replies (6) Good night (4163) Bad night (979)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.

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(519): Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him. http://tfl.nu/z0om

Replies (3) Good night (1411) Bad night (688)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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(910): So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up... http://tfl.nu/q907

Replies (11) Good night (826) Bad night (2431)
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(727): View more from Florida

If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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(727): If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take. http://tfl.nu/cnz2

Replies (10) Good night (881) Bad night (1520)
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(+65): View more from

Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.

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(+65): Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences. http://tfl.nu/3qzr

Replies (1) Good night (1298) Bad night (386)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.

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(803): Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation. http://tfl.nu/hr81

Replies (2) Good night (1479) Bad night (451)
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(956): View more from Texas

One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth

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(956): One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth http://tfl.nu/vmxy

Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (677)
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(913): View more from Kansas

just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.

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(913): just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone. http://tfl.nu/qc7n

Replies (6) Good night (1483) Bad night (581)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.

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(+44): The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter. http://tfl.nu/dz88

Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (310)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.

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(304): I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's. http://tfl.nu/kb4r

Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (321)

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