at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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