hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize