I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
