And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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