Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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