Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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