I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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