Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
