ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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