he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
