Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
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I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
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Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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