It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's official drugs can't kill me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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