I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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