how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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