Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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