So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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