We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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