'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize