I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
